


okay in time

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Possible OOCness, Post-Episode: s16e18 Mona Lisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 12:56:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Ellie works for Nick's forgiveness but it's a late night phone call that begins the healing process.





	okay in time

**Author's Note:**

> Possible oocness for the fact they probably don't act the "right" way, but who knows with all these emotions. Not exactly how I wanted it but this episode gave me so many feels it was hard writing.
> 
> I know this won't be even close to how the situation between them gets fixed but I hope you all still like it!

She planned to give him some space, really she did. But sitting there in her apartment, her mind running wild from everything, she could feel the guilt of her words eating at her. Even if questioning Nick like she did was the right thing because someone had to ask right? (Though she wished it hadn't been her to ask), it still wasn't right how she handled the after. 

_ “You call your friend a murderer one time!”  _

Ellie wanted to punch or kick herself for that whenever her words replayed in her head. She had made the mistake of falling onto humor as she felt the tension between them, and it was wrong of her to do so. His face so raw, tired, and hurt kept flashing behind her eyes whenever she blinked and it literally made her heart hurt. 

So here she was not being able to just sit at home, on his doorstep.

Though as he spotted her she wished she had thought it through more. He looked as if she was the last person he wanted to see and it  _ hurt so bad. _ Not that she could blame him. 

She blinked rapidly to clear her suddenly wet eyes before he could see. 

“Go home Ellie.” 

His voice made her insides twist. He sounded as if he was just  _ done _ . As if he had nothing left in him. She knew everything had affected him..but it didn't hit her how much until then. She felt like she was going to be sick as her words ran through her head again. 

Standing up, she opened her mouth to tell him  _ no _ but stopped herself as he walked past her, deliberately making sure no part of him even brushed against her. 

“Nick I-”

“Not tonight.” He said weakly in a low tone she barely heard, he never looked at her once. “I just- I want to sleep.”

“Right..right, um of course.” 

She stayed in her spot. 

Nick sighed, his back to her. “I'll see you in a week.”

“A-A week?” 

“A week off. Jack recommended it, Vance and Gibbs approved.”

Ellie watched him disappear from view.

“One week..” She whispered to herself. 

She needed to come up with a plan. This wouldn't be fixed with an “I'm sorry” because how do you even say that? “Sorry I basically called you a murderer, didn't act like I had faith in you, joked when you were hurting, and then accused you of doing the same if roles were reversed when even I knew you wouldn't”? 

How do you say all that with a simple I'm sorry to the guy who is not only your best friend, but someone who had no idea they were so much more than that? 

* * *

Nick rubbed his face tiredly as he placed another box on his kitchen table. They had been coming all week. 

A box full of newly unopened protein powder, a box full of protein bars, new knives to add to his collection, a new leather jacket, research on new gyms to ‘escape any memories’ and ‘with better security and protocols on who can enter’ the note had said, a CD with sounds meant to help you sleep better, a gift card for his favorite place to eat. All with notes written in Ellie's handwriting with messages he knew could only come from her, a way for her to calm any suspicions he may have about the packages. 

He was going back to work the day after tomorrow. 

Nick grabbed the note from the package. 

_ This is the last one. This one is a personal one, and I hope you aren't angry or disappointed in me enough to burn it. P.S. Remember on our trip how we fell in the pond (more like you fell and pulled me with you if we're being honest), and that frog somehow got in my pants? That was the first time since Clay died that I felt happy again, like everything really would be okay again.  _

He swallowed the lump rising in his throat. He remembered it perfectly. 

_ “Nick!” Ellie shouted loudly.  _

_ “It was a reaction to grab your arm, I swear!” He laughed. Ellie huffed and splashed water at him from the pond they had fallen into. “Like I would ever make you fall into a pond on purpose!” _

_ “What! You would push me into it and you know it!”  _

_ “What kind of man do you think I am!” _

_ “I-” Ellie suddenly shrieked, jumping up.  _

_ Nick felt his heart race as he stood in seconds. “What's wrong?” _

_ “There's something in my pants! It feels..slimy!”  _

_ “Well can't you..get it out!” Nick cringed. Slimy things, no thanks. “Your a country girl!” _

_ “What does that have to do with anything, it's not like I'm use to things being in my pants Nick!” She jumped, grabbing onto him with a squeak. “It feels gross get it out get it out!”  _

_ “What! It's in your pants! You reach in and grab it!” _

_ “Nick I'm literally giving you permission to stick your hand down my damn pants!”  _

_ His eyes widened at the literal freaked out look on her face. “Okay okay!” _

_ A frog. A frog that looked freaked out itself if frogs can look freaked. _

_ Nick tried to ignore the fact his hand was just in her pants. And not in the fun way.  _

_ “Well uh that's a story.” Nick finally said after Ellie gaped at where the frog had leaped away. “...I'm guessing you could never say you once had a frog in your pants before.” _

_ “You tell anyone about this Nick and you're dead.” Her head snapped around to glare at him. _

_ “I-” _

_ Nick was cut off as Ellie stepped to leave the pond but slipped, grabbing onto him just as he did before. He tried to grab her but slipped himself, both of them dropping back into the water.  _

_ Ellie gasped as the water splashed, making it so her head was now soaked to join her clothes.  _

_ They looked at each other and burst into laughter.  _

_ Without thinking, Nick reached over and moved some of her wet hair out of her face, his fingers grazing against her. Their laughter stopped as they stared at each other.  _

_ “I know I look like a drowned rat.” She laughed a little awkwardly.  _

_ Nick shook his head. “Far from it.” _

_ Neither of them commented on the husky tone of his voice or the way she for a second leaned in, until the sound of an animal rustling in the bushes nearby broke whatever was happening between them.  _

Brushing off the memory, Nick opened the box. 

He dropped into one of his kitchen chairs when he opened the tube inside the box, pulling out and unrolling the papers inside. 

They were drawings of him. 

One of him holding Cody, one of him playing candyland with Victoria that he knew had to come from the picture he knew Jimmy snuck, him laughing with McGee, him and Delilah playing with the twins sitting on his lap, just him and the twins who were on each side of him as he read them a book..

Nick picked up the note that fell out from the tube. 

_ This is how I see you, not some guy who is capable of murdering someone even when drugged. I see you as the guy who loves the people around him strongly once he lets them in. Someone with so much to offer and someone I do have all the faith in, even if it didn't seem like it. _

A rush of emotions filled him. Some of that hurt and anger he had been holding onto at her slipped away. She had put so much work and time into these drawings. 

With a small weight lifted off his shoulders and chest, Nick smiled for the first time since before all of this happened. 

* * *

Ellie woke up with a start from her already troubled sleep. 

“What the hell?” She mumbled to herself, groggy from the sudden wake up. 

She squinted her eyes and blinked at her lit up phone and the source of the noise. Without looking at the screen she answered.

“Hello?” 

“E-Ellie?”

Ellie sucked in a breath. She hadn't expected it to be him. He sounded..like she had never heard him before.

“Nick!” Her eyes landed on the clock on her nightstand. 2:36am. “Are you okay? What's going on?”

“Can you come over?” 

His voice shook as if he was trying to hold himself together. 

“Of course! Just hold on Nick.” Ellie jumped out of bed not caring about her pajama shorts that outside was too cold for or her over sized white t-shirt as she quickly slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed her jacket. “Stay on the phone with me okay?”

“Okay.” He mumbled. Her heart slowed down as she drove with her phone on speaker listening to his breathing. 

Ellie hung up the phone as she went into his apartment using the key he had forgotten he gave her one day after doing a favor for him. Slipping off her shoes and taking her jacket off at the door, she padded along his floor to his bedroom.

Nick was curled up on his bed, his phone beside him as he stared at the wall.

“Nick.” She whispered. He blinked as if coming back to the present. Moving to his bed, she crawled on beside him only a small space between them. 

“I can't stop thinking about it.” Nick said, voice tired and hoarse sounding. “I keep seeing her face..and I just- I could have done it Ellie..I think that's what got to me the most when you asked if I could have, knowing that I really could have.” He swallowed roughly. “I've done..horrible things-”

Ellie took the chance and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. He didn't pull away like she expected, instead he gripped her tightly. 

“That's the thing Nick-” She whispered. “-I don't think you could have done it, but as an investigator it needed to be said and I do wish it wasn't me who said it because I don't think of you as a murderer not even for a second but you know as well as I do that every angle has to be thought and covered. As for the horrible things..we've all done things in life, but that doesn't make us killers and it doesn't make us horrible people.”

Nick sniffled but she didn't see any tears. Though her own eyes watered a bit at how beaten down he looked. Scooching closer to him until her body was almost against his, she felt so much relief flow through her as his right arm wrapped around her as if to keep her close. 

“It was like a punch to the gut.” He mumbled. “Feeling as if you had no faith in me..and you saying I would have done the same if roles were reversed ‘cause I wouldn't Ellie..even if I saw you covered in blood holding the murder weapon, I still would have faith that there was something more going on.” 

“I'm sorry.” Her voice breaking as her eyes watered again, this time a tear escaping. How hurt he looked appearing in her head once more. “It's not enough but I'm so sorry Nick.”

His arm tightened around her, pulling her closer until she was against his chest. She breathed him in, the smell of his body wash filling her senses. 

“Those drawings were amazing by the way.”

Ellie felt her cheeks color, she had forgot being so worried with his phone call that he would have saw them earlier.

“Are we..are we ever going to be okay again?” She asked. 

Nick pressed a light kiss to her forehead sending tingles down her body with just a simple action. 

“Eventually. I just- need more time.”

To help move past what happened or to heal from what she said, she didn't know. But that was okay with her. 

“Do you want me to go?” 

Nick moved himself from her, and for a second she worried he'd tell her yes but instead he grabbed the blanket and pulled it from the end of the bed to cover them. 

“Never.” She thought she heard him whisper. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

Ellie stayed awake even after Nick had finally drifted off. She laid there listening to his breathing and feeling his heartbeat. Something had shifted between them, what exactly she didn't know for sure, it was just this  _ feeling _ . 

Things weren't perfect between them yet, but things would be okay with more time. 


End file.
